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Aunt Marge is Uncle Vernon's sister, and even though she is not blood related
to him, Harry still has to call her "Aunt." Marge looks much like Uncle Vernon, with a very fat body, little neck,
purple face, and (less bushy) mustache. She owns twelve dogs, her favorite being a fat, old, and mean bulldog Ripper,
which she claims pines for her when she is away. She usually only has a fry-up for dinner, considering how many dogs she is
responsible for, and she has a man named Colonel Fubster watch the dogs when she is away. Marge takes great pleasure in spoiling
Dudley rotten, while being rude and cruel to Harry. She also loves critiscizing him, suggesting ways he could improve, and
talking ill of his parents.
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Marred Marge
by Evangeline-Eve
What is so strange about Aunt Marge? Check out our collection
of faults:
-She has a mustache. A mustache, for God's
sake. Is that really supposed to happen?
-What about her purple face? I mean, we know she's fat and
all, but God, does it have to be purple?
-Why does she have so many dogs? Now, I happen to
have three dogs, and I know a family who even has five, but twelve? And she drowns them when they're not
big enough. Now I am a vegetarian, and in my opinion, just because her poor dog's stomach can't hold six Dudleys dosen't
mean she should start going all serial killer on us....
-And the way she lets that fat old Bulldog Ripper drink
tea from her saucer. Uhm, like... ew. Hasn't she ever heard of a little thing called sanitation?!
-Now let's move on to the subject of her little problem with
brandy. Because apparently, to her, "Just a small one" is the equivilant of "Give me the whole damn bottle! What do you think
I am, a two-year-old?" Now repeat after us, Marge, "Hi, I'm Marge, and I have a problem." Good girl, Marge. Good girl.
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